please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
