I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
