There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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