She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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