i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
