in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize