I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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