you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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