I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
