If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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