I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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