I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
