Do vagina's smell?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
