Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
