Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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