just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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