We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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