never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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