oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
