I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
