I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
