He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize