I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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