DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
well you can't waste a boner
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
