my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Drake has all the answers
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