Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
They have beer where we have blood.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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