just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why did my mother make you get naked?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
