I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
