We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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