i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
