i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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