At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
