whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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