i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
