careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
