this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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