you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
