she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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