this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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