Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
