remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
