You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
