I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
