Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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