If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
