I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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