If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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