So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
