I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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