I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
