dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
