After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
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