I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
