'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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