Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I got inside last night via doggy door
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
