? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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