ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
