How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
