Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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