ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
