I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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