After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
