there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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