I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
