You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize