Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
