Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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