so that wasnt chicken after all
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize