He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
