She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
