I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
