He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
