we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
